When we were out there drinking and drugging, we didn't know what different could be. Life had become a repetitive cycle of despair and hopelessness. Void of purpose, we were left with one self-destructive act.
This is our story. Maybe others were less afflicted. Perhaps more were worse off. We guess it doesn’t matter the degree. What mattered was that each addict finds the living end where darkness overcomes all light.
Addiction is Progressive
We won’t spend time in this segment detailing our own devastation. Suffice it to say that where we ended up can best be described as “bankrupt” (Physically, Mentally, and Spiritually) and that that place became the hardest to leave.
The fact is that we didn’t come to this point overnight. It started with one sip. It started with one swallow. It started with a reward; it began by feeling different.
We can’t speak of the science behind addictive behavior as it is way above our pay grade. So, we will speak from experience when we say that our life became an obsessed quest to recapture the effect that using first provided.
We found that in our desire to enhance “good,” we manufactured “bad.” The more we consumed, the worse the outcome. The pattern defied logic though we spent years battling the regressive trend.
The truth is that we did not become an alcoholic overnight. The cycle progressed slowly, yet In hindsight, the pain came quickly. But we muddled through never quite destroyed enough to seek different.
Recovery is Progressive
Sobriety, for us, was born of desperation. There came a moment when we were willing to consume a drop of hope.
We begged for support and put our trust in a new direction. Since we had no basis for belief, we hung on the success and guidance of others. We had a string of faith which, over time, wound into thread and eventually rope.
Physical change was required to move toward the psychic change that proved to be the lynchpin of soberness. New direction was found through new places, people, principles, and practices.
The moment of surrender launched in us a movement to healing, which became momentum to meaning.
Different became the new norm.
We begged the reader of this blog, if they are void of hope, to grab on to some of ours. We can guide you down the path that has brought us to a place we never imagined.
Reach out today and get ready to be different.
Thoughts and ideas for this blog post were taken and built upon from a sober.coffee podcast titled #122 “Then & Now; 8 year reflection…” The podcast dropped on 7/26/2023. Click here to hear the podcast.
Photo by marianne bos on Unsplash
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Alcoholics Anonymous and AA are registered trademarks of Alcoholics World Service. Inc. References to AA, the 12 steps, and 12 traditions does not mean that AA has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication nor that AA agrees with the views expressed herein. This publication is intended to support personal growth and should not be considered a substitute for healthcare professionals' advice. The author’s advice and viewpoints are their own.
Thank you for sharing your hope, it does spring eternal. JD