How are you doing?
Updated: Nov 5
How many times are we asked the above title sentence? How many times do we ask? Does anybody want the real answer out in the universe? Is there even a moment carved out to hear the response? Does anybody care?
At a time in America, families lived out on their front porches. We shared phone lines and burdens. We knew each other better because we invested in each other. It was common to work together and play together. Neighborhoods were tight, and people were “real”.
Maybe the world has changed, or perhaps we have changed.
EGO e·go/ˈēɡō/ noun
“a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance.”
It seems to us that everybody around us is selling a specific version of themselves. We are inundated with crafted messaging and are pressured to show that we are in the game of self-fulfillment and self-importance. We are, and therefore we deserve.
The action of abstinence from alcohol and drugs is but the first step on the road toward sobriety. The program of Alcoholics Anonymous teaches us that we can still be gravely self-serving, even drunk on ourselves, without consuming the poison. Step work forces us to check the characteristics of our personality and persona.
Our drinking days were the worst when exasperated by a liquid lubricant of lies, we created a sell-sheet on ourselves that we distributed to anybody with a warm hand. Post delusion, our instinct was to continue the practice. The principle of honesty jarred us to tamper our thinking and messaging.
It had taken a great deal of energy to manufacture our brochure of bullshit. When we shifted from self-centeredness to service—a new booklet needed to be built and maintained.
Crafting a new character that we could accept, we found that white space needed to replace white noise. We needed to leave room for empathy. To take note of another's needs, we were required to shatter the mirror, replacing it with an ear. We needed to remove the impress and perform the assist. We shifted from needy to helpful, and our liabilities became assets. Our voice became a reflection of the demand around us. Self-brand transmuted to sincere service.
How are we doing? Our flyer should reflect that we are doing “okay.” Okay is the new SuperBumblebeeFantastic. Today, we don't need to appear over the top. Actually, the less we appear, the more legitimate we are. We are okay with being okay. We can support others when we are, but okay. If we are hung up in our self-image, we can't carry another's load and have found purpose in the latter.
How are you doing? – we really want to know firstname.lastname@example.org; drop us a note as we are listening.
Thoughts and ideas for this blog post were taken and built upon from a sober.coffee podcast “#136 "My Ego is not my Amigo" with special guest Matt C”….The podcast dropped on 11/1/2023. Click here to hear the podcast.
Alcoholics Anonymous and AA are registered trademarks of Alcoholics World Service. Inc. References to AA, the 12 steps, and 12 traditions does not mean that AA has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication nor that AA agrees with the views expressed herein. This publication is intended to support personal growth and should not be considered a substitute for healthcare professionals' advice. The author’s advice and viewpoints are their own.