Help me if you can, I'm feeling down And I do appreciate you being 'round Help me get my feet back on the ground Won't you please, please help me?
The Beatles – “Help”
"Help!" is a track by the Beatles that served as the title song for the 1965 film of the same name and its soundtrack album. The selection was released as a single and was the number-one song on the hit lists for three weeks. John and Paul had no idea they were writing the anthem we use as our battling cry today.
We were raised, right or wrong, in a do-for-yourself culture and environment. It was ingrained in us that to achieve, you must believe and do whatever it takes to make it happen. It was pretty straightforward; if you wanted something, it was up to you, and you alone, to get it – And asking for help was a weakness. This approach served us well for most of our lives as we excelled seemingly single-handily.
There was little in life that we could not self-conquer. Worlds spun around us. Each accomplishment reinforced our independence. Aspirations turned acquaintances into assets. Those considered hinderers were discarded quickly. People were mere commodities on a game board where we controlled the bank.
Alcohol did not slow us down; as a matter of fact, it accelerated our self-positioning.
Over time the lubricant became our grandest liability. What once gave us smoothness in speech now produced a slur. Clarity became chaos. Steps morphed into stumbles. Precision progressed to the problematical. The solid ground of self-support we stood on turned into a bed of sand that was quickly eroding below us.
We instinctively turned to “self “but found nothing. The more we battled, the more we were beaten. The harder and smarter we fought, the further we fell. We had built a world of one, blind to the very thing that could and would rescue us; connectivity through community.
To survive, we had to surrender to the notion that we needed “help,” But where to start? We had discarded and dismantled any structure of support that had ever been offered. We had closed our eyes to opportunity. To succeed in a new way of living, we needed to open our eyes and be open in our thinking while opening our surroundings to see if this help thing could work for us.
We initially found backing through our circle of family and friends. Our struggles were no surprise to those closest to us. What we found, in most cases, is that they were eager to strengthen our new cause.
Eventually, we found help in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Though this might not be the path for everybody, it does provide the core elements that support personal assistance. Many have described AA as “a self-help group” because of its meeting formats that build on support through sharing of experience.
For those that, for whatever reason, don’t care for the flavor of AA, we encourage researching other support groups that share commonality or start with a group of two, a professional counseling session(s).
The point is to ask for help with the big and the little things. We have found that we are surrounded by a force willing and able to help.
In the end, it's a bit of a dichotomy (a division or contrast between two things that are or are represented as being opposed or entirely different.); We get stronger through surrender; we are more self-sufficient when we are less self-sufficient.
Open the door of hope, through help, today!!
When I was younger, so much younger than today I never needed anybody's help in any way But now these days are gone and I'm not so self assured Now I find I've changed my mind, I've opened up the doors
The Beatles – “Help”
Thoughts and ideas for this blog post were taken and built upon from a sober.coffee podcast titled “Sonia from EverBlume”…The podcast dropped on 06/21/2023. Click here to hear the podcast.
Alcoholics Anonymous and AA are registered trademarks of Alcoholics World Service. Inc. References to AA, the 12 steps, and 12 traditions does not mean that AA has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication nor that AA agrees with the views expressed herein. This publication is intended to support personal growth and should not be considered a substitute for healthcare professionals' advice. The author’s advice and viewpoints are their own.