So often, we find ourselves at the intersection of regret and reality. This emotional conflict, a collision, causes us to freeze, paralyzed as we analyze our options. We can take the path of guilt, shame, and remorse for what transpired in the past, or we can choose the uncharted direction of new beginnings. We can take hold of what could have been or build on what might be. We can sit disappointed with what happened or stand ready to be delighted with what could ensue.
The reality that we choose to choose is that there is nothing that can be done to alter what was. The truth is that the past can't be changed. It was as it was. We can't unsay; we can't undo. We can't erase the existence of what was. What we can do is forge to create anew. Equipped with the right tools, we can build stronger new histories that we can be proud of. With the right mindset, we can manufacture the magnificent.
We have learned in recent years that transformation takes time, and recovery is progressive. One doesn’t wake up one morning to a desired destination by chance, somehow mysteriously transported, without definitive thought and action. New worlds were not discovered without purposeful acts. Goals are not met without strategic thought and decided activity.
We wallowed for far too long. We sat at that intersection, wasting precious breaths, rehashing the unchangeable. Our inactivity bought bitterness; our paralysis purchased pain. The more we examined, the more magnified the agony became. Though nothing changed, the anguish increased. We were, in a word, miserable.
What changed for us was the realization that we had a choice: to sit, do nothing but suffer, or explore a new pathway, one that promises less pain and more pleasure. One would think that choosing would be obvious. It's funny how the mind works when not worked.
For us, the turning point was when change became intentional. That day, we said, “No more will we park in the darkness of the past.”
The light of new living was found in the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, which taught us not to bury the past but to confront it, accepting it for its realities and processing it responsibly. Success demanded fearless and thorough treatment. Shortcuts lead to shortcomings, so we matched our intent with intensity as the stakes were high. This would become the foundation of new beginnings.
We could then see clearly and were ready to commence toward a positive and promising present – which manifests better tomorrows. Our actions now mirror our desires. Hope is born in the healing and assurance that right living bears fruit beyond our imagination.
Though less than initially, we still find ourselves at the fateful intersect daily. We have learned to be aware of this, quickly identifying and re-positioning our thoughts and bodies toward that hope.
For today, the choice is ours.
Thoughts and ideas for this blog post were taken and built upon from sober.coffee podcast #150 titled " “A Night With Blue October” The session dropped on 2/7/2024….Click here to hear the podcast.
Photo by Bobby Johnson on Unsplash
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Alcoholics Anonymous and AA are registered trademarks of Alcoholics World Service. Inc. References to AA, the 12 steps, and 12 traditions does not mean that AA has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication nor that AA agrees with the views expressed herein. This publication is intended to support personal growth and should not be considered a substitute for healthcare professionals' advice. The author’s advice and viewpoints are their own.
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