Mood rings fascinated us in the early 1970s. The fad surrounded us as a generation sought to reflect their inward feelings outwardly. Temperature changes altered the stone's colors with little accuracy to the emotional state of the presenter, but they were fun.
Fitbits and Oura rings, today's internal data trackers, produce statistics that can be analyzed for mood indicators. Is our heart beating too fast or too slow? Are we breathing well? Are we getting enough good sleep? This information can help us shape our opinion of our current state.
We want to be in touch with our moods, or do we?
We like to feel good and don’t suspect we are alone in the desire for the warm and fuzzy. We are never in the mood for a bad mood. And though it happens, we attempt to pivot to a positive posture, playing tricks on our heads until we stabilize from the emotional free-fall. Manufacturing the strength to equalize is sometimes painful and can be exhausting.
From an early age, we found that the effects of alcohol made us feel good. There was a moment when we felt more confident, carefree, stronger, funnier, and more likable. We chased this fleeting sensation for decades. We thought this was the connection to our true selves but realized it was a fallacy far from the facts.
Whether we were black and white alcoholics (those of us who sustained great loss) or the grey who just didn't care for what alcohol delivered for them, whether we lit it up every day or had occasional blackouts, tended toward sloppy, or took a moral misstep, consumption needled us to the bad side of the “decent meter.” No matter the color, we were losing ourselves sip by sip. Both groups used drugs and/or alcohol to mask, blur, or obliviate away feelings and emotions.
Are we alcoholic, a problem drinker, or annoyed by the menace of the murky medicine? We can hurt our chances for a healthy recovery if we compare the depths of our addiction to others. Varying areas of external pain and internal hurt are individual readers that define our unique low, our bottom.
The best questions are: Is alcohol serving me well? Why am I doing this? We argue that the answer to the first question is an obvious no. As for the second question, we conclude that we were avoiders of our real selves, pushers away of our default personalities, and hiders of the truth.
Search for the truth began in the earliest days of recovery. We were told to prepare for a tsunami-like wave of emotions and feelings that, for the first time, were not dulled by the drug we injected. We hunkered down and managed each surf the best we could. We felt pain, anger, disappointment, fear, disgust, surprise, sadness, joy, shame, and gratitude like never before (well, maybe in our youth, but we have buried those memories and feelings)
The fact is that without the poison, we experienced the wholeness of the sensation. The fact is that we needed tools to counter the effects as alcohol was no longer a feasible treatment.
Others shared processing techniques and tools that could be used to support navigating our authentic selves. Actions like journaling, positive message reinforcement, exercise, and connection help us identify with our genuine selves and also help us solve the problem of what to do about it. These straightforward practices unfold as such:
Journaling
Keep it simple. Start by getting thoughts down on paper. Writing things out tends to help in managing the complicated. It has been proven to strengthen emotional wellness and cognitive processing, facilitate goal setting, and even improve the physical by reducing stress. The goal is not to publish but to process.
Positive Message Reinforcement
With so much negativity surrounding us, it is essential to feed ourselves with positive messages. Daily inspirationals are widely available in print and online. We proactively follow those with encouraging and uplifting messages.
Exercise
Body movement supports the physical and does wonders for our mental health. Though we aspire to run a marathon, a short walk daily does the trick. There are so many benefits, health being one, but it is the time alone with our thoughts and surrounded by natural energy that brings us to a better place every time we take the time to walk.
Connection
Minimal conversations with others can produce maximum results. We are not intended to do life alone. It is amazing how sharing a burden with another human can reduce the pressure and lessen anxiety. With each discussion, we dilute the magnitude of the mess in our heads. With each talk, we transform from problem to solution.
The point is that we like to feel good, and sometimes, we need to do some work to get there. When we see or think our moods are swinging toward the black, we fight for the white. It is a battle that is worth the win.
For us, our mood is an indicator of our level of sobriety, and though we don't always feel great, we know that the sense of the grave is a dangerous place to be. We also know that feelings are not facts. We can use technologies or a silly mood ring, but it is in understanding the self and how to process that there is magic behind a meaningful existence.
Thoughts and ideas for this blog post were taken and built upon from a sober.coffee bonus podcast titled “Sara Tucker Howe Joins” … The podcast dropped on 5/22/2022. Click here to hear the podcast.
Photo by No Revisions on Unsplash
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Alcoholics Anonymous and AA are registered trademarks of Alcoholics World Service. Inc. References to AA, the 12 steps, and 12 traditions does not mean that AA has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication nor that AA agrees with the views expressed herein. This publication is intended to support personal growth and should not be considered a substitute for healthcare professionals' advice. The author’s advice and viewpoints are their own.
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