Most of us know that all living things, including every cell and tissue in the human body, need oxygen to survive. Oxygen helps organisms grow, reproduce, and turn food into energy. Humans, animals, and plants depend on this colorless, odorless, tasteless chemical element. “O” is number 8 on the periodic table and, along with Carbon, Hydrogen, and Nitrogen is essential for our existence.
We are reminded of this basic need before setting off to propel a commercial airplane some 35,000 feet above sea level. Flight attendants instruct us on how to respond to the loss of oxygen in the cabin by placing an oxygen mask over the nose and mouth should the cabin lose pressure. The instruction is clear: put the mask on ourselves first and then proceed to help those who need assistance, for we can’t help others if we are dead.
The concept of the sponsorship role in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) follows this same basic frame: Make sure to take the measures suggested to get healthy and stay healthy and then assist those who need help. Put the mask on first, learn how to survive, and then help the next guy succeed.
If one doesn’t know how to swim, how can they become a swim instructor? How can we train a pilot if we don’t know how to fly an airplane? If we don’t see the value of honesty, how can we train on the virtue? “We can't transmit something we don’t have.”.(quote from page 164 in the Big Book of AA)
We have witnessed many miracles in the program that have saved us (AA). Magic happens when one person dedicates themselves to the transformation of another. There is a whole new mystic level when a community surrounds one who is suffering. We watched the crawler walk, the walker run, and the runner reform. The message crafted nearly 100 years ago is passed on with precision and passion by those who embrace its simple structure and guidance.
The positioning of a sponsor is relatively straightforward: work the steps, learn as much about this program of recovery as possible, and then share that experience without consideration of self-gain. Be a friend, mentor, instructor, and guide to those who walk through the doors seeking relief. Do life with those struggling. Be as honest, available, accountable, confidential, flexible, and empathetic as your sponsor was for you.
It is the practices and principles of AA that have survived the test of time. Mike’s program of recovery failed miserably time and again, and Glenn’s steps to sobriety shattered before they could be built. It wasn’t until we accepted that our way and will wouldn’t work that we found healing and hope for a better life. It wasn’t until we put our faith and trust in an instructor with a track record we desired for ourselves that we figured out the formula that evaded us for too many years.
It is this theme that makes the whole thing work—and work for millions of people who were just like us: Learn to live and share to flourish. “The more you give it away, the more you get back” is the mystery of the movement. Rather than question the math of it all, we experience and encompass the sum as our proof that it all works. The proof is in the lives transformed and the consistency with which it happens.
We learned to swim and taught others to swim. We studied flight and showed others how to fly. The plane shook, the masks dropped, and we took care of ourselves and then went about the business of helping those around us. Someone cared for us unconditionally, and now we care for others unconditionally.
We need Oxygen like we need Carbon, Hydrogen, and Nitrogen. We need to be served and then to serve. We need to be loved and to then love. We need each other!
Thoughts and ideas for this blog post were taken and built upon from a sober.coffee podcast “#178 titled “Rapid Fire"- Sponsorship Edition; with Tim G” … The podcast dropped on 8/21/2024. Click here to hear the podcast.
Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash
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Alcoholics Anonymous and AA are registered trademarks of Alcoholics World Service. Inc. References to AA, the 12 steps, and 12 traditions does not mean that AA has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication nor that AA agrees with the views expressed herein. This publication is intended to support personal growth and should not be considered a substitute for healthcare professionals' advice. The author’s advice and viewpoints are their own.
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