School was tough for us. We learned despite ourselves. We could have put more effort into the A’s and R’s. There were distractions, bullies, and, of course, girls. With little energy left for extra credit, we did the minimum and got the least. Grade school advanced to middle, junior, and eventually high school. We struggled. We strained to excel because it wasn’t a priority.
Growth happened for us at the same level as our interests. If it was important, we shined. When it had our attention, we surpassed even our own expectations. We found our groove by embracing the available written, spoken, and multimedia material. The hands-on, real-life application brought progress to the highest level.
We went through a slow period of development when we selected a lifestyle driven by our drug of choice. We again operated with a minimal effort status, saving our attention and determination for the poison that paused our progress. We moved at a pace that left us stagnant and firmly in a bent zone of comfort.
Eventually, we reached a point where we screamed, “Is this all there is?” We felt flat and unaccomplished, to say the least. There was no want—no drive. The pages of self-improvement went blank, and messages of hope faded to silence. With no interest in life, we invited the notion of death as a plausible alternative.
Thanks to those committed to others to keep a certain program alive for future generations, a solution to our angst presented itself. The Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous sprung its doors open and invited us in to learn about recovery in a new and exciting way. We were promised a better way of life IF we approached the teachings with vigor and enthusiasm we were assured existed from within.
We had to go back to school, dig into the text that had delivered relief to millions before us, and find our level of motivation to ensure that we would be on the right side of the sobriety statistics. From experience, we knew we could learn and apply if the subject was important enough. We just had to buy in with all we were.
Our switch turned on when sobriety became the most important thing in our lives. Our schooling succeeded when recovery became the priority in all areas of our existence.
What we read, listened to, and viewed supported our efforts to embrace this new lifestyle. We had to leave our comfort zone and conform our actions to the teachings and the classrooms where they were taught. These meeting settings got us healthy and are essential to our continual mental well-being as we forge ever deeper into complete emotional sobriety.
What we have learned from those who have failed to maintain sobriety is that they quit going to school. They quit reading and listening to the teachings of the AA program. They prioritize something over their sobriety and pay the price of the devastation that comes with their failings.
We don’t feel that we are immune to such results. We believe that to idle is to risk death. The simple fact is that there is no point of graduation when it comes to recovery. It takes daily growth and constant class attendance to best the odds.
The common thread in the relapse story is that one “quit going to meetings.” Disconnecting from the source of knowledge and power is not good for our iPhones or for us. Consistently moving forward negates the possibility of going backward.
We confess that our defaults are “easier and softer,” “within our comfort zone,” and “by ourselves.” The fact is that growth is found in the pain of operating out of our zone and doing life together – teachers and students tied to the same mission.
Our brains tell us that we can return to normal drinking someday. The data suggests that that is a lie. We learned that at school from those paid in experience and goodwill. We impart to those who are as determined that together we learn and together we teach.
The cycle of schooling continues.
Thoughts and ideas for this blog post were taken and built upon from a sober.coffee bonus podcast #191 titled "Program Consistency " The podcast dropped on 11/20/2024. Click here to hear the podcast.
Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash
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Alcoholics Anonymous and AA are registered trademarks of Alcoholics World Service. Inc. References to AA, the 12 steps, and 12 traditions does not mean that AA has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication nor that AA agrees with the views expressed herein. This publication is intended to support personal growth and should not be considered a substitute for healthcare professionals' advice. The author’s advice and viewpoints are their own.
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