For far too many years, we lived in the shadow of truth, believing what we heard from the clatter within. We shaped a view of who we were from a perspective that relied on self-esteem and self-importance. We depended on that part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious that drives our sense of personal identity.
Weakened by our addictive behavior while hyper-aware of the net effect of our poor decisions, we spent far too much time believing that we were terrible people. We created an unhealthy self-image that presumed the worst. All the while, we presented a plausible persona of positivity and success. We were a living enigma.
This dichotomy of feelings and beliefs tore us apart and left us confused, exhausted, and void of self-validation. Our ego had let us down. It was from a solid self-image base that drove early successes that then brought ruins, leaving us thinking we were failures.
For us, it took more than simple abstinence to break through the blocks that had been built. It required self-analysis, outside support, and a reversal of what we saw as important. We had to rethink our purpose and retool our ego. No longer was image the drive.
Authenticity had to become the standard.
The 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, outlined as a path to complete recovery, guided our reflection process as we came to an understanding and appreciation of where we had come from, what makes us tick, and what a life complete looks like.
Professional counseling, as well as support from a community of like-minded individuals, helped us put our pride in proper perspective. We realized that we are not the center of the universe and have become okay with that.
Through our transformation, our priorities have shifted to a heart that strives to serve those around us. Our primary purpose is to stay sober, as we have nothing without our sobriety, and to help others achieve sobriety.
We are proud of what we accomplish on any given day. We possess a healthy pride that buys into the good within us – that we freely share. The clatter is positive now, and our ego is in check. We have work to do, we know that, but that is what life has become: a continual improvement process.
We have many years ahead of us, God willing, and embrace the upcoming adventure with the vigor of a child on Christmas morning. We are true to ourselves. We are aware of our genuine selves and are honest and transparent with others.
We no longer live in the shadows but in the light of truth.
Thoughts and ideas for this blog post were taken and built upon from sober.coffee bonus podcast titled “Emil - 12th Step Work - Chicago Jail System”… The session dropped 3/20/2022. Click here to hear the podcast.
A Special thank you to Emil who does so much work in the jail systems in the Chicago land area. Your tireless pursuit of sharing hope with the hopeless is noticed and appreciated.
To help support the jail ministry, go to www.putabookinjail.com. Thank you in advance for your consideration.
Photo by Rajesh Rajput on Unsplash
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Alcoholics Anonymous and AA are registered trademarks of Alcoholics World Service. Inc. References to AA, the 12 steps, and 12 traditions does not mean that AA has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication nor that AA agrees with the views expressed herein. This publication is intended to support personal growth and should not be considered a substitute for healthcare professionals' advice. The author’s advice and viewpoints are their own.
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