The commercials promised glamor, confidence, and good times. The actors sold attraction, appeal, and style. We saw friends drink with grace and charm. Alcohol was at the center of fun. We set out to get our piece of paradise.
It started with a blissness, a confidence that all fear could be overcome. The message that lured us was fulfilled almost instantly. We thought, spoke, and walked with a certain assurance. The world was good, and we were part of that goodness.
We spent many a moment perched on a bar stool, expounding our plans for grandeur. We were a bid deal – in our own minds. Though filled with the pains of the past, we positioned as a perfect blend of possibilities and positiveness. While crumbling internally, we performed as put-together. It was all a charade, a house of cards.
When the bar closed, we took the show home. We donned our dreams and dilemmas to an audience of one. We had transited from social to isolation. There came a point where the casual became the crave. With little leverage, we gave in.
We maintained for years, teetering between whims and wishes, bouncing from reality to uncertainty, reeling from ramifications we produced, all the while damaging our brains and bodies with the booze that promised bliss. We battled fiercely to change the trajectory of our downward slide.
The stool of satisfaction had failed us. Its legs, formed by self-indulgence, selfishness, self-destruction, and cynicism, could no longer support us. In its time, the poison pushed us off the raised four-legged ass-rester.
When we hit the floor, our bottom, it was with a thud. We lost our wind and our sense of being. The force of the fall surprised and stunned us. From our vantage point, we could see clearly the damage that had been done. Not only were we hurt, but in our struggle to stay upright, we had taken others down with us.
We were broken and beaten, but life swirled around us, so we had to get up and muster the strength to rebuild the best we could. We were inclined to restore the bane that had beaten us, as that was what we knew, but we felt no existence was better than the one from which we fell.
While on the ground, a moment of clarity came: A shimmer of hope said we could reconstruct a base that would support our sorry selves and deliver on the dreams and desires that lay deep within—that there was another way to survive this universe built on qualities we possessed but hadn’t tapped for years.
We said yes to this rebuild.
Our new stool is built on the legs of abstinence, spirituality, restoration, and service. With this new chair, we learned to chair our lives—to reach taller and with a better grip. We have also learned to ignore the lure of the false messaging that surrounds us. We find bliss in the moments and have a concrete connection with ourselves and those who support our restoration. Grandeur for us these days is found in the peace we feel and the hope we share.
The hope of sobriety is the big deal. It is life and death to many. For others, it is a lifestyle choice that embraces the fullness of all this existence has to offer.
We like the view from this stool.
Thoughts and ideas for this blog post were taken and built upon from a sober.coffee podcast #63 titled “Special Guest: Lisa Boucher - Author of “Raising the Bottom”… The podcast dropped on 6/17/2022. Click here to hear the podcast.
Photo by Ruslan Bardash on Unsplash
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Alcoholics Anonymous and AA are registered trademarks of Alcoholics World Service. Inc. References to AA, the 12 steps, and 12 traditions does not mean that AA has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication nor that AA agrees with the views expressed herein. This publication is intended to support personal growth and should not be considered a substitute for healthcare professionals' advice. The author’s advice and viewpoints are their own.
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