At the end of our drinking journey, we found ourselves in isolation; we had built a barrier to the world, and all that was in it. The concepts of fellowship, brotherhood, and companionship were foreign to our thinking and contrary to our actions. Self would find survival in self, and friendships would fall, as decidedly unstable independence would be required to rise in our design of darkness.
Throughout the history of man, seldom is there a story of one. In each episode, interaction existed. He was they; Adam had Eve, Siegfried had Roy, Bill had Bob, Michael had Scotty, and Charles had Dianna. Success comes in two, three, or four; nations have armies, sports have teams, and clubs have members. Civilizations shine through interdependence and groups through interface.
We are where we are today due to the relationships that intertwined throughout our past.
Good, bad and neutral, these connections have shaped our us and define our now. We can't help but be influenced by the people around us. Some we choose, and some choose us. Some intersect randomly.
It is those that we choose that we wish to focus on in this post. What matters is the fact that today, we are choosing. In recovery, we have been taught the value of relationships. In sobriety, we have learned the worth of sincerity. In society's grasp, these lessons would support global healing and health.
Our circles of influence are usually centered by those that share our last name. Some of these are healthful relations, and some are, in a word, toxic. We have learned that firm boundaries can ensure maximum benefit and minimal heartache and negative outcomes. Though we may feel stuck and inseparable, positive partitions can be established when sobriety is the priority.
In our recovery journey, we have found that those supporting our quest for better living bring significance and value beyond measure. It is in the support of those from our blood circle and those non-blood brothers and sisters that we find the power to strategize and execute a plan for significance.
Conversely, we have been led to emotionally, and sometimes physically, shed those that prioritize unhealthy life choices that could affect our desired direction. This is sometimes painful but totally necessary if we are to be true to ourselves.
We are grateful for those in our circle today. We are thankful that we have come to an understanding that seclusion breeds the bad and that group produces the good. We embrace fellowship, brotherhood, and companionship and earnestly invest in each relationship we have been granted.
We did drunk alone. We did dry alone. We do recovery together.
CLOSING NOTE: A special shout-out to those in our circle. And though we can't name all the names because of anonymity, we wish to thank all those in the meeting rooms of AA and the small church group we are part of. Also, the sober.coffee community that has come to mean so much to us. And our family members who have supported us unconditionally throughout our journey: Our parents, siblings, wives, and children. The friendships from within AA and those that are “normies” (ordinary people who don’t have a drinking problem) have provided strength to our steps. We appreciate every one of you!!
We don’t do this alone.
Photo by Noah Silliman on Unsplash
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Alcoholics Anonymous and AA are registered trademarks of Alcoholics World Service. Inc. References to AA, the 12 steps, and 12 traditions does not mean that AA has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication nor that AA agrees with the views expressed herein. This publication is intended to support personal growth and should not be considered a substitute for healthcare professionals' advice. The author’s advice and viewpoints are their own.
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